{"id":11573,"date":"2026-04-03T20:17:00","date_gmt":"2026-04-03T20:17:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/traumanet.nl\/?post_type=artikelen&p=11573"},"modified":"2026-04-06T12:33:36","modified_gmt":"2026-04-06T12:33:36","slug":"dwelling-in-victimhood","status":"publish","type":"artikelen","link":"https:\/\/traumanet.nl\/en\/artikelen\/hangen-in-slachtofferschap\/","title":{"rendered":"Languishing in victimhood \u2013 A personal reflection"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\u2018<\/b>Dwelling on victimhood does not help<\/em>\u2019, wrote a psychiatrist about sexual trauma.<\/p>

I got stuck on that for a moment\u2026 because it only touches such a small part of what trauma can be. \u00a0<\/p>

Trauma is about boundaries. It divides, fragments, confuses, and entangles your sense of self. Starting from the role of victim, the question is how you find yourself again. As a powerless victim, guilty as if you were the perpetrator, looking away like an uncomfortable bystander? Or a confusing mix of all of them?<\/p>

Internal division<\/a> The consequences of trauma exist in all kinds of forms. From experiencing yourself as a single person \u2013 in relative harmony with the different sides of yourself \u2013 to living from different ego-perspectives, without feeling a main character. And of course, everything in between.<\/p>

Single trauma PTSD<\/a>, Complex PTSD<\/a>, a dissociative identity disorder<\/a>... Psychiatric language does little justice to how your inner landscape can develop under the pressure of trauma. No disorder, but a reflection of how you managed to survive.\u00a0<\/p>

When I was violently abused as a young child, I shattered into pieces. Into the sharpness of pain, into helpless watching, into freezing with fear. Into total incomprehension of what was happening, into blissful acceptance, into rock-hard denial.<\/p>

Victimhood was the starting point, but ultimately not the problem. The problem was that we got stuck, kept going in circles, in mutual conflict. All over the place, <\/i>except in that one reality: that I was that victim.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>

For those who live with the damage of sexual boundary violation, \u2018just don't dwell on it\u2019 is a worthless tip. Say instead that you hope I find solid ground beneath my feet to stand on so I can see what really happened.\u00a0<\/p>

That the victim role was forced upon me uninvited and violently. How my \u2018no!\u2019 died away and the wondrous dissociative abilities of a small child took over. And that back then, without any preparation or script... we actually did pretty well?\u00a0<\/p>

Lying in my hammock, I rewind the film one more time.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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Rasila

<\/strong><\/p>

Have you had a bad sexual experience or experienced sexual violence and do you need help or advice? Then contact (anonymously) the Center for Sexual Violence<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Aaliyah Muggen is the daughter of a Dutchbat veteran with complex PTSD. As a close relative, she feels the tension rising significantly around Christmas.<\/p>","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":11588,"parent":0,"template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"give_campaign_id":0},"artikel-categorie":[88],"doelgroep":[12,13],"thema":[48,51,52],"trefwoord":[],"class_list":["post-11573","artikelen","type-artikelen","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","artikel-categorie-blog","doelgroep-iemand-met-trauma","doelgroep-iemand-in-mijn-omgeving-heeft-trauma","thema-leven-met-trauma","thema-cptss","thema-dissociatie"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nHangen in slachtofferschap?! 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