{"id":8887,"date":"2025-10-29T12:43:42","date_gmt":"2025-10-29T12:43:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/traumanet.nl\/?post_type=artikelen&p=8887"},"modified":"2025-10-31T09:46:51","modified_gmt":"2025-10-31T09:46:51","slug":"there-is-multiplicity-within-me","status":"publish","type":"artikelen","link":"https:\/\/traumanet.nl\/en\/artikelen\/er-is-veelheid-in-mij\/","title":{"rendered":"There is a multitude within me"},"content":{"rendered":"
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She looks at me with eyes filled with a mixture of sadness, powerlessness, and bewilderment. \u2018I feel so unstable, I'm really not normal.\u2019<\/em>\u00a0 She already knows the metaphor of the inner bus, so I reply that there might be a lot of people on her inner bus at the moment and add: \u2018See if you can manage to change the word labile into \u2018There is multiplicity within me.\u2019<\/em><\/p>

She sighs for a moment. I see that she is calming down a bit. \u2018I often forget to look at it that way. Sometimes it feels like one big chaos inside myself, and then I can't see things clearly anymore. But what you're saying is right, there is multiplicity in me.\u2019<\/em> I invite her to be curious with me about everything that is in there. She talks about her anger toward the world, about her sadness that she can feel so lonely, about how she judges herself.<\/p>

That is often how it goes. Inner parts have emerged to protect us when we feel vulnerable. Parts that have been in our lives for so long because they once had to appear. \u2018We are wired for connection, we are rewired for protection.\u2019<\/em> It is a quote by Gabor Mat\u00e9 that I like to use to explain why we unconsciously protect ourselves as children. When we come into the world, we are wired for connection. Alongside all physical needs, a child requires closeness and warm attention. If parents, often because of their own baggage, lack the capacity to provide the necessary safe warmth, the child will rewire themselves, this time out of self-protection.\u00a0<\/p>

In Voice Dialogue<\/a> do we call that the birth of primary sub-personalities. Parts that have come to make sure we feel as safe as possible. I see quite a few different kinds of protectors emerge. Sometimes people brace themselves, become distrustful or angry at the world. Others try to avoid conflicts or numb themselves. You can also instinctively freeze and cut all connection, or you adapt and sacrifice your own needs for the sake of peace. All these parts come with the very best intentions. They deserve understanding and empathy. After all, what you honor makes room for something else.<\/p>

Later in the conversation, we pause to focus on a young part of her. She feels the old loneliness. I ask her to visualize how she herself, as the adult she is now, can be with that child from back then in a compassionate way. She says, while keeping her eyes closed: \u2018I see a small child, and I also see the protectors around her. She is so small. So alone. No wonder so much protection is needed.\u2019<\/em> It becomes quiet. Inside her. Inside me. She places both hands at heart level. With every breath, she breathes warmth into that part deep inside. I, too, place my hands on my heart and feel along with her. A small gesture. A huge impact.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t

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Marijke Leys<\/h4>

Psychotherapist, author and director of the Voice Dialogue Institute<\/a>.<\/h5>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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More about Marijke <\/div><\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<\/path><\/svg><\/span>\n\t\t\t<\/path><\/svg><\/span>\n\t\t<\/span>\n\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/summary>\n\t\t\t\t
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Marijke has been a psychotherapist for over 25 years and is the director of the Voice Dialogue Institute, which she founded in 2006. She has an integrative training background and is a certified EFT therapist. She is also trained in EMDR and TIST (Janina Fisher) and is the author of the books \u2018Face to face with vulnerability<\/a>\u2019and\u2018Vulnerability as a compass<\/a>\u2019.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/details>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ze kijkt me aan met ogen die gevuld zijn met een mengeling van droefheid, machteloosheid en ontreddering. \u2018Ik voel me zo labiel, ik ben echt niet normaal.’\u00a0 Ze kent de metafoor van de innerlijke bus al, dus ik antwoord dat er misschien op dit moment veel volk zit op haar innerlijke bus en voeg toe: […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":8932,"parent":0,"template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"give_campaign_id":0},"artikel-categorie":[60],"doelgroep":[12,13],"thema":[48],"trefwoord":[],"class_list":["post-8887","artikelen","type-artikelen","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","artikel-categorie-column","doelgroep-iemand-met-trauma","doelgroep-iemand-in-mijn-omgeving-heeft-trauma","thema-leven-met-trauma"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nEr is veelheid in mij | Column Marijke Leys<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Er is een veelheid in ons allemaal: innerlijke delen die ontstaan zijn om ons te beschermen tegen kwetsbaarheid en pijn.\" 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