How do you talk to your child about a traumatic experience? When does such a conversation help, and when does it not? And what does a child need to feel safe, understood, and supported? A new episode of De onderzoekstafel, a podcast by Reinier van Arkel, is about trauma communication within families.
The hosts are Elisa van Ee (clinical psychologist and special professor of Psychotraumatology from a developmental perspective at Radboud University) and Koen Westen (lecturer and researcher at Avans University of Applied Sciences).
They talk with Melanie Sloover and Judith de Vroomen. Melanie is doing a PhD at Radboud University on trauma communication within families. Previously, she worked at the TOPGGz Psychotraumacentrum Zuid-Nederland. Judith is a psychotherapist at Herlaarhof, a center for child and youth psychiatry. There, she works with children, young people, and families who are dealing with trauma and attachment trauma.
Not whether, but how
Research shows that talking about trauma is not an obvious solution. In many families, discussions about serious events are held. Whether such conversations are helpful depends on their quality. It is about recognition, coordination, and attention to what the child needs at that moment.
Children and young people themselves say that support is often complicated. The relationship with their parents is regularly under pressure, and talking about what happened doesn’t always feel helpful. Therefore, support resources outside the family are also important, such as friends, teachers, and peers. Especially recognition helps: someone who understands your situation, without you having to explain everything.
Recovery does not only happen in the treatment room
For professionals, the episode shows how to connect with the perspective of a younger person in the treatment process, and how together we can give meaning to what has happened. A preparation story can, for example, help to restore communication and trauma treatment possibly created.
At the same time, it becomes clear that recovery does not only take place in the treatment room. Parents, family members, friends, teachers, helpers, and peers can all contribute to support, recognition, and connection.
You can listen to the episode (41:43 min) from now on.
