All of me: Music theater about trauma and healing

Actually, we had been searching for ourselves since we were young. We were searching for a sense of belonging, for answers to questions that we ourselves could barely articulate. We spent years in therapy, always searching for ways to learn to deal with everything that was happening around us. Both of us began training as social workers, with the goal of also being able to contribute to the recovery process of another person. And perhaps also, somewhere along the way, out of a desire to make a difference through our own experiences.

Almost four years ago, we started making songs and sketches about our own experiences in the mental health care system, combined with the stories we heard in our work. This evolved into a performance about the mental health care system, stigma, and hope, with which we have been traveling around the country for years.

But then it was time for something new. A deeper layer, an honest reflection on our own recovery process. That’s how we came up with the theme ‘trauma’This turned out to be a subject in which our personal stories converged. Yet for a long time it didn’t feel natural to face and acknowledge that trauma was also part of we story. When people think of trauma, they often think of a violent accident, war, or abuse. That is what it is. But it is so much more than that.

In the making process of ‘Heel mij’, we together explored what trauma means to us and discovered what the impact of relational trauma can be. We investigated the impact of intergenerational trauma and working with trauma-sensitivity, but above all, we examined our own patterns. From there, songs and lyrics were formed that represent this quest for us, with themes such as connection and safety at the center.

And that's where it started All of me.

All of me is a musical performance about the consequences of trauma and the search for healing. A vulnerable story about how trauma scars influence how you find your way in life and the struggles you encounter within yourself and in your relationships with others. In the performance, we introduce the audience to the various internal parts in ourselves – sharing stories that all want to tell.

A year ago, we were fully prepared. Three shows were scheduled and the premiere was already sold out. The rehearsals were in full swing and we worked hard to finish the script. Until it simply couldn’t go on anymore.

When you create theater about mental fragility and hope, that is exactly what you want to convey. But what do you do when that same fragility suddenly overwhelms you? When old patterns play out so forcefully that you can barely stand up anymore?

The decision to cancel was one of the hardest choices we have ever had to make. Because what do you do when playing is at the same time the support that you think keeps you afloat? And what do you do as a colleague when you see that the other person no longer holds on; knowing that continuing is irresponsible, but afraid of the impact that stopping might have?

This is exactly what the play is about. About how trauma scars You also keep chasing after the present, because there are always new situations that confront you with your deepest convictions.

It was necessary to prioritize recovery. To explore how we learned to trust ourselves and each other again: to learn that expressing boundaries is not rejection, and that sometimes silence is the bravest form of progress.

Only by being there in person can we truly stand here now. Still vulnerable, but with so much more confidence. We can’t wait to share this story with you.

Are you interested in attending the performance ‘Heel mij’? The performance will premiere on May 23, 2027. Check out www.psychischgestoordproducties.nl for more game dates.