Resilience as a foundation
Resilience is the ability to flow with what life brings, without being completely blown away by it. It does not mean that you never experience stress, sadness, or pain, but that you develop ways to return to balance again and again.
For those who have experienced trauma, that can be more complicated. It nervous system often reacts faster and more intensely to tension because the window of tolerance is smaller. Minor stressful moments can therefore already feel overwhelming.
As a loved one, you may also notice that you window has become smaller. When you are under tension for a longer period of time, for example due to worries about someone you love, powerlessness, or persistent stress, you are less resilient. You can then become overstimulated, fatigued, or react emotionally more quickly. That is not strange: your nervous system also needs rest, support, and moments of recovery to remain resilient.
Strengthening resilience helps calm the nervous system and gradually increase your ability to cope with stress and emotions.Â
Why small habits make such a big difference
Resilience is not a trait you either have or do not have, it is something that grows with attention, practice, and gentleness. Just as muscles grow stronger through repetition, resilience also grows through small daily actions that provide a sense of safety and calm.
Even simple habits can make a big difference. They bring structure and predictability, teaching your nervous system: it is ok, I am safe. In the long run, you will notice that tension builds up less quickly, recovery is faster, and there is more room for fun and connection.
It may seem difficult at first. Therefore, start small, with one thing that feels achievable. Every positive experience of relaxation and connection that you gain is an experience from which your system learns and through which your resilience grows.Â
Book recommendation
Glimmers Journal - Deb Dana
Reflecting on the daily moments of joy, security and connection
Ten daily habits that build your resilience
Whether you are dealing with trauma yourself or are a loved one, the following ten daily habits can help calm your nervous system and strengthen your resilience.Â
1. Breathing exercises
Breathing calmly helps immediately to regulate tension. For example, try the 4-6 breathingFour counts in, six counts out. Or do a breathing space exercise. Tie it to a fixed moment, such as upon waking up or before going to sleep.Â
2. Rhythmic movement
Movement with rhythm, such as walking, cycling, swimming, or dancing, helps release tension. Small movements work too: shifting your weight from one foot to the other, rhythmically rubbing your hand over your leg, or gently tapping on your collarbone. Walking or moving together also helps to experience connection.Â
3. Grounding in the here and now
Grounding exercises bring you back to the moment. The 5-4-3-2-1- exercise (name 5 things you see, 4 you feel, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, 1 you taste) helps to reconnect with the here and now.
4. Fixed sleep and wake times
Sleep is essential for recovery. Regularity, calming rituals, and a fixed bedtime help your body and brain unwind.Â
5. Mindful handling of stimuli
Give yourself a daily stimulus-free break. Turn off screens, put in earplugs, or find a quiet place. Small adjustments reduce overload. Even in a household, planning moments of rest together can help. And remember: silence is not doing nothing, but actively recovering.
6. The sparkles
Train your brain not only to see danger, but also what is good and nice. Write down three small things every day that were pleasant, such as a smile, sunlight, a warm cup of tea. It Glimmering diary Can you help well with this?.Â
7. Make contact and seek connection
Connection with others helps with regulation. That can be a connection with a human, but also (and sometimes specifically) with an animal. It doesn't have to be big: a short message, a chat with the female neighbor, or a phone call with someone you trust can already be supportive.
8. Nutrition and self-care
Eating and drinking regularly helps keep your body stable. Try to eat mindfully: taste the flavors, smell the food, feel the texture. That can also be a way to ground yourself. Cooking or eating together can be a connecting moment in which your body relaxes.
9. Rituals and predictability
Fixed anchors in your day provide peace of mind. It can help to have one small ritual for yourself that returns every day. This schedule can provide guidance:
Do something useful: for example doing the dishes or cleaning something up.
Do something active: a short walk or some stretching.
Do something social: make contact with someone.
Do something good: Do something kind for yourself or someone else.
10. Self-compassion and gentleness
Recovery involves ups and downs. Be gentle with yourself is perhaps the most powerful habit of all. If you don't manage it during the day, end your day with one kind thought about yourself or someone dear to you. Even if you are a caregiver, gentleness is important. You are doing what you can, and that is enough.
Webinar June 1, 2026, 7:00 PM – 8:15 PM
Trauma and resilience in children - How everyone can make a difference
In conversation with Leony Coppens
