Why self-care after trauma can be difficult
Self-care may seem like something simple: showering, brushing your teeth, eating, sleeping. But for many people with traumatic experiences That is anything but self-evident.
When you trauma Having experienced something, even a seemingly small act, can evoke memories of something that was once unsafe. For example, showering can mean you have to undress and touch; brushing your teeth can mean something is moving in your mouth. Such actions can evoke tension or lead to flashbacks and intrusive thoughts.
In addition, it is often difficult to have a good connection with your body if there has been abuse, violence, or neglect. Taking care of your body then requires something that once felt unsafe.
Several factors sometimes make self-care very difficult:
Difficulty regulating emotions
Overstimulation or exhaustion
Lack of structure
Feelings of disgust, fear or shame
Never learned what self-care looks like
Alienation from yourself or your body
Problems with self-care
Self-care is about more than personal hygiene. People with complex trauma, CPTSD of DIS may experience difficulties in various areas, for example with:
Personal care
Taking a break
Go to the doctor or dentist
Moving or exercising
Food and drink
Sleeping and maintaining a day-night rhythm
Structuring the day
Treating yourself to something special or relaxing
Charting self-care
Learning to recognize what you need starts with recognizing what you find difficult and why. Therefore, it can be helpful to first explore which forms of self-care are difficult. For example, you can look at these areas:
Restful sleep
Day structure
Relaxation and free time
Physical care
Intimacy and sexuality
Eating habits
Dealing with self-harm
When you know where the problem lies, you can start investigating what lies beneath it. It’s a good idea to do this with a therapist or another trusted person who can think along with you.Â
Practicing staying present
Sometimes it helps to have the senses To use to stay in the here and now during moments of self-care. Small adjustments can already make a difference:
Listen: turn on music or a quiet voice recording.
See: Hang something beautiful in the bathroom or set up a puzzle to focus on.
Feel: play with a stress ball or consciously feel the floor beneath your feet.
Tests: Use toothpaste with a pleasant taste or use something refreshing before you take a shower.
Smell: Choose a scent that you like, such as a shower gel or perfume.
Movement: Stretch out for a moment, take a few steps, or alternate on one leg.
Practical tips for self-care
Plan self-care for times when you feel reasonably stable.
Use an alarm clock or a song to mark the time, so that it remains clear.
Plan difficult tasks, such as showering, possibly just before an appointment with someone you know, so that you can then be helped to regulate if it feels difficult.
From survival to worry
Many people with trauma have learned at a young age to survive. That has also been a form of self-care – even if it may not have felt that way. It can be helpful to remember that. survival strategies to recognize and slowly add new forms of care that fit the way life is now.
When there is little contact with the body, it may be a good idea to first gently restore that contact. For example, together do something physical that feels safe, such as walking, dancing, or gentle movement exercises.
The starting point is always to learn to recognize: what belongs to ‘then and there’ – and what is ‘here and now’. In that distinction lies the space to experience safety, care, and softness anew.
Bridge
This article is based on Self-care in complex trauma-related disorders That Claudia van Beuzekom, social psychiatric nurse at GGz Centraal and José Bom, clinical specialist in psychiatric care at GGz Centraal and FACT Harderwijk-Wezep wrote. The article was published in Nurse Academy GGZ, Edition 4, 2023.
