Reliving an experience can be very distressing to witness. It then seems as though your loved one is experiencing a past event all over again. Your first instinct might be to intervene immediately, but the most important thing is to remain calm and provide safety.
During a flashback, contact with the here-and-now is disrupted. You can help by that restore contact step by step. Do not just touch someone experiencing a flashback, and state it if you do. Speak calmly, state your name, and describe what you see and are doing. For example: “Hey Roos, it’s me Sanne. I see that you are having a very hard time. I am here with you and I'm going to come sit next to you for a moment.”
Also state where you are and what is happening in the room, so that the other person can reorient themselves.“We are at the station in Utrecht and you were startled by a loud noise. Today is Tuesday, October 6, 2025, and you are safe now.”
When contact is established, you can ask your loved one to consciously look around and name things: for example, the color of various objects, or their shape. This helps to return to the present.
After all, it is nice to discuss the situation again at a quiet moment and explore together what is helpful during a flashback, so that you know better what you can do if it happens again.
Read more
