When you are around someone with trauma, you may experience strong feelings yourself, such as helplessness, fear, or frustration. Watching someone you love have a hard time can evoke many emotions. This is very normal, and it is important not to ignore or suppress those feelings.
Sometimes it can be helpful to tell your loved one what it’s doing to you. For example, you could say: “It’s hard to see you suffer like that, it gives me a sense of powerlessness.” As long as you keep it to yourself and don’t take it as a criticism, this can actually lead to more openness and mutual understanding.
At the same time, it can be very difficult to share your feelings with your loved one, or there may not be enough space for that in the moments when they are feeling the most intense feelings. Therefore, seek someone you can turn to for a listening ear, such as a friend, family member, or professional.
By taking your own feelings seriously and taking good care of yourself, you’ll have more space and energy left over. This way, you can also be there for your loved one in the long run, without exhausting yourself. Self-care is not a luxury, but a prerequisite for remaining supportive and present.
