Many loved ones struggle with this question. On the one hand, you want people to understand what’s going on or what it’s doing to you. On the other hand, you want to respect your loved one’s privacy and not share personal details.
Important to remember: you never have to tell anything. Even if people insist or are curious, you are not obligated to provide explanations or share anything that doesn’t feel right.
Still, it can be supportive to share something. It helps others better understand the reactions of your loved one and it can give you comfort. Preferably discuss with your loved one what you can share about this: which words are appropriate, what can and cannot be said. This way you know that you respect your loved one’s boundaries.
A safe way to do this is to keep it to yourself and speak in general terms. For example, you could say: “It’s not up to me to tell you exactly what’s going on, but he/she is going through a difficult time and needs some rest.” In this way, you provide an explanation without revealing personal history. You can also share what it does to you and where you can find support.
Being close to someone with trauma can be difficult and the impact is also great for you. It is therefore important that you receive support as well. It is nice if there is at least one person you can confide in: a friend, a trusted person, or a helper. If you find that difficult in your environment, then an anonymous helpline can also be a low-threshold way to vent and let your heart out.
